"WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU WANT TO DRAG A HURTING BODY OUT OF BED AT THE CRACK OF DAWN TO TAKE IT TO A 7 AM PHYSICAL THERAPY APPOINTMENT!!!"
After nearly a year of working in this office I have yet to figure it out. All I know is that it's dreadfully unfair to those of us who didn't make the appointment and were just minding our own business trying to make a decent living. And this is all before facing the ever-enduring fact that I have to work alongside my mother-in-law, again. Every day I think there comes the crisis at which I think I have finally snapped and will submit a hurried and passionate exit from employment. And every day, by some unknown miracle, I go home knowing I'll return to do the dance of death once more.
Tomorrow the dance of death promises to open in full swing. Again, I have to be there at 7:15 to massage a very loud, very old, not unpleasant, but not fun crooked butt-crack of Don. And yes, it really is crooked. It has a very pronounced squiggle in it near the top as if to say,
"I was cruising along, dividing cheeks as usual, when I thought to myself, why be like other cracks? What is with the monotony of all these straight lines? Do we have so little to inspire us that we have been lulled into complacency?"
At this point the butt-crack made a sudden swerve of passionate defiance. However, as he signed his name with a fancy loop towards the end, he realized that the only audience he had available would have to go to acrobatic effort just to see his attempt at revolution. With a sigh he cut his fiery revolt short, and returned to the original path destined for him.
Little did he know that his efforts were indeed noted by one, myself, at the butt-crack of Don.
OH! I'm so glad the B-C-of-D great plan didn't go entirely unnoticed! I hope you had an excellent morning at work and that you were able to smile to yourself thinking of me reading this and knowing about the adventure you were going to embark on, hahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaahahhaha!
ReplyDeleteYou, MY FRIEND, should write books and sell them by the dozens, the hundreds, the thousands! I have plans for several children's books INCLUDING your story about the gum-wrapper and spider. I unfortunately cannot find the original copy of that one (but I daresay I will certainly find it by the time I pack for NY). Then I want to set to making it into a book and we will be co-authors.
Other note: Remember when you made the Best Friend Newsletter?
Other other note: There is actually someone else with the URL Michiki and I accidentally started following them first (but I couldn't see the blog). Their name was "Rocio" and I quietly pondered why you would name yourself Rocio - but hullo, you didn't! I wonder no more.
Thank you for reading this epic comment.